My Story...

Guest Post MeToo Personal Story

TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING 

This article or section, or pages it links to, contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors.

 

I would like to to share my story of when I was sexually assaulted when I was only fourteen years old.   I was a naive young Junior High girl who was talking online one night with two guys from school who convinced me to come meet them at the beach via AOL instant messenger to say hello.  Upon me getting there, I got the feeling they were not there to just talk; they brought alcohol with them and proceeded to keep insisting I drink some.  Then came the scariest moment, after an hour or so of hanging out getting comfortable the two proceeded to beg and threaten me to go down on each of them.  Thirty minutes passed and the two continued to beg and plead for me to do it saying how all the girls in school were doing it.  I had never had even seen a penis before let alone kissed anybody.  I proceeded to do it for a matter of seconds in pure fear of the repercussions if I did not.  They said if I did it they would never tell a soul but if I did not go down on them then would tell everyone in school what a slut I was and how I hooked up with two dudes. They sexually harassed and assaulted a vulnerable 14 year old girl and then proceeded to tell everyone in school humiliating me. Being naive I thought they wouldn't tell anyone and I myself was too embarrassed and ashamed to ever tell anyone. Then a year or two later my best friend who went to a different school even heard about it and shared the rumors with me. 

I always blamed myself for going out that night, not having the courage to run away, stand up for myself but I felt powerless there were two of them and one of me. It was dark and remote. I always wondered why they did that to me, just so what they could look cool and be popular? On the expense of my body, mind, soul, reputation. They both moved on with their satisfaction of empowering and sexually assaulting me; I on the other hand to this day at years after the experience have been depressed, scared, untrusting because of that encounter. It was my first real experience with guys and left me feeling that since two seemingly nice, normal junior high boys were this way towards a girl thats how all guys were. I have struggled with this for years and after that encounter the guys in school already thought of me only in a certain way that I was forced and threatened to be. 



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